Hey mama, How are you? No, really, how are you? Where are you with things? Is today a good day? Or is today tough? Whichever one it is, I get it. You see, before I had Lottie, I was an easy-going, chilled kind of girl. Nothing overly phased me and I did my best to not stress about things. I definitely wasn't the anxious type at all. Life was good, easy and carefree.
Since having Lottie, everything has changed. I remember my first wobble. Lottie was 5 days old. I was shattered. I was trying to breastfeed but really struggling. I wanted to give up. I was worrying that Lottie was not getting enough milk from me. I felt like a failure. I felt like the worst mother in the world. What mother can't feed her own child? I felt horrible. I had this helpless baby, relying on me for everything and all I wanted to do was cry or run away and someone else looks after her. I managed to speak to the infant feeding support officer and she came to my home and spent time with me, helping me with my latch and something just clicked. I could feed her. I was providing enough milk. I was taking care of her. This was the first of many wobbles I have had over the last 2 years. I worry. I stress. I procrastinate about decisions. I question myself all the time. I have days when I feel like a useless mum and that everyone else is so much better than me. Everyone else seems to have their sh*t together except me. I compare myself to other mums. I have sleepless nights when I worry about everything. I miss my old me sometimes. I miss being carefree. I miss my freedom. Don't get me wrong, I love my little Lottie, she has brought me so much joy and melts my heart every single day. Being a mother is the best job in the world but my goodness, it is the hardest. Fortunately for me, I had a tribe of people who love and support me. Who encourage and lift me. I have people in my life who remind me how amazing I am, as a mum but also as a person. And I need them. You are amazing too. No matter what has happened today. No matter what's going on for you. No matter what. You are amazing. Mamas, we are all in the same boat. We all have good days and bad days and dark days and crazy days. There are people that can help. It's always good to talk. Get in touch here. You have got this. Big hugs from me
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Abigail is a Motherhood photographer, capturing authentic and unscripted portraits of your amazing journey from pregnancy to newborn, toddlers to families. As a silent observer, I freeze moments of your life and create the most beautiful art for your home, as a permanent reminder that you are loved and that you belong.